© 2010 Marina Rundell
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Excerpts from the book, The Three Marriages, by David Whyte:
"The pursuit of the self is also the pursuit of that part of us that is untouched by our successes and accomplishments. The marriages of relationship and work may bring us tangible outer gains, wonderful sex (at times), children, a house, money, recognition and the ability to help others through our actions, but the marriage with the self is the pursuit of a way of being that is so alive to all the phenomena of existence that it stops distinguishing so much between what is winning and what is losing."
"The pursuit of this super-self is difficult exactly because we cannot imagine what it would be like to be beyond winning and losing. In the pursuit of the self we cannot get there from here. We get there to begin with by stopping."
"Stopping is not passive; stopping allows us to look at the world as if we have seen it for the first time. Stopping stops us from keeping things alive beyond their appointed time. Stopping makes us realize everything is going to disappear, including ourselves, and enables us to stop trying to act as if we were immortal. We begin to realize that disappearance can be as miraculous as appearance. We can also read questions like this one by the poet David Ignatow with some patience and new understanding.
I wish I knew the beauty
Of leaves falling
To whom are we beautiful
As we go?
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